Pacing - part 2/3
Energy Budgeting
In the last post, I talked about what pacing is - the art and science of doing the things that are most important without using more than the energy you have available. Pacing yourself includes being mindful of how you use limited energy, and making choices that align with your priorities. I also talked about how a budgeting metaphor can be useful - whether you’re budgeting spoons, spell slots, energy dollars, or sporks, you still have to stay within your budget or there are consequences.
Actually doing the budgeting work is easier said than done, however. In this post, let’s get specific about budgeting.
If you like to get methodical about it, there are worksheets you can download at the bottom of this post that guide you through the process I’m talking about here. If that sounds like way too much, you can also scan through the headings, and pick a few ideas to try out. There’s a lot of trial and error in this process, so you don’t have to do it all at once.
Get aware of what you’re doing
One area to consider is where you’re spending your energy. There are things you have to do, like personal care, earning money, or taking care of the kids. There are things you want to do, like hobbies or spending time with people. There are things you know are helpful to you, such as exercise or meditating. All of these things have an energy cost. How aware are you of all the things you’re doing? Are you spending energy without even realizing it?
It can be useful to think about general categories, like “work” or “personal care.” You can get a sense of how you’re balancing your energy, and whether it’s going where you intend.
It can also be useful to get more granular - thinking about brushing teeth, combing hair, doing makeup, and taking a shower as separate tasks rather than a general “morning routine” can give you more opportunity to make small changes. Is the exhausting part of the morning routine the shower or is it blow drying your hair, for instance? Once you know what, specifically, is costing you the most energy, it’s a lot easier to come up with ideas that will work for your body.
Don’t forget to consider those things that you want to do, or that you know you “should” do. You might learn that they’d be easier to add than you think, or realize that you’re not doing them because they’re way too much.
Know the costs
Once you’ve identified the different tasks that take up your day, it’s useful to identify how much it costs you to do them. Try using a system that assigns a number to it, like a scale of 1-10. How much does it take out of you to drive to work, to change a diaper, to do the laundry, or to get through a meeting?
Some things cost practically nothing, and you could do them all day without an issue. Some things are so challenging that they take everything you have, like an athlete leaving it all on the field.
This isn’t a precise process, and since every body is different and every day is different the calculations will change. On a good day something may be fairly easy at 3/10, and on a bad day that same thing might be way more challenging at 7/10.
Know what matters
Also think about how important it is for you to do each of these things. How important is it that this get done - and how important is it that it gets done by you instead of someone else?
Priorities vary wildly with different people. Someone who hates cooking but has a partner that cooks might rate cooking a 1, while someone who gets a lot of satisfaction out of their kitchen creations may prioritize cooking much more highly.
Your life circumstances will also affect your priorities. If you’re the only one keeping a roof over your head, paid work is going to be a higher priority, for instance.
This is also an opportunity to think about the expectations placed on you by others, and how important it is to meet those expectations. Standards around housekeeping, personal grooming, amount of socializing, effort put into paid work, and more can all be reconsidered and changed based on what truly matters to who you are today. You may be surprised at what really matters and what doesn’t.
Where are the patterns?
So, say you’ve considered what your activities are. You’ve identified what’s easy and what’s difficult, and you’ve identified what matters more or less. Now what? If you’ve done all this in writing, now you can start to look for patterns.
High priority items
These are the things that matter a lot to you - if they’re important, plan for them. Save your energy in other areas so you can do what matters. This might look like
Planning your day so you do these things at times when you have more energy. If you’re a morning person, plan the big stuff in the morning. If you’re a night owl, put the big stuff after you’re fully awake and alert. If you have a lunchtime crash, don’t put important things after lunch.
Doing the most important thing first in the day before other things get in the way. It’s easy to get caught up in doing task after task, then having nothing left when it’s time for the big evening plans.
Planning rest before and after the important things. Give yourself space to start with a full battery, and recharge afterwards.
Choosing where to cut so you have enough energy for what matters, even if it’s the only thing you do that day. Maybe an important doctor’s appointment will be the only thing on the schedule that day. Something really exhausting might be the only thing you do that week, and that’s ok if you’ve decided it’s worth it.
Low priority items
These are the things that aren’t as important, so make sure they don’t crowd out what matters. Strategies might include
Making things easier. When something isn’t important enough to be worth a lot of energy, then look for ways to make it take less energy.
Dropping things altogether. If it just doesn’t matter, then don’t do it.
Doing things less often. Can you wash your hair less frequently, or space out how often the rug gets vacuumed?
Getting help. If a family member, roommate, or friend is happy to do something, then let them do it. Can you ask for help, make bargains, or establish a mutual aid relationship?
Paying for help. When it’s financially possible, paying for other people to do things is a gift to yourself. Cleaning services, meal delivery services, curbside grocery pickups, and a million other options exist to make life easier. When something has to be done and it doesn’t have to be done by you, there are options.
High energy items
In general, anything that costs a lot of energy is worth looking at more closely.
Is there any way you can bring down the price? The previous post had ideas on how to lower the price tag, so you don’t have to use as much energy.
Are all of these high ticket items really that important? If it costs that much to do them, are they really worth doing? Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe they’re worth doing, but not as often.
Low energy items
If something doesn’t cost a lot, that’s great! Remember that small things add up, though. Twenty small things might be just as exhausting as one big thing.
Making choices
Armed with more awareness of how you’re using your energy, you can make more informed choices. On days you have a lot of energy, you can do more things - but make sure you leave space for the things that matter. On days you don’t have much energy, do things that don’t take as much out of you.
Remember, your priorities are what matter. Do the things you care about, whether it’s keeping food on the table, caring for loved ones, or maximizing pleasure in your life - just pace yourself while you do it.
